“As a (Navy) reservist, I'm often asked what my ‘day job’ is,” writes Jeff Pizanti, a stay-at-home dad in California. Responses to his career choice vary from, “That’s nice, but I could never do that” to “You must be having a blast,” he said.

Jeff, a Navy spouse, posted some of his experiences here on the SC blog, and also shared some of his experiences via e-mail.

The July 26 Spouse Calls column details more of my conversations Jeff and other stay at home military dads. Each seemed more concerned about his family’s needs than the counterculture nature of his choices, in spite of some people’s reactions

“There is a lot of that pressure that we should be the working person,” said Mike Clark, a stay–at-home Air Force dad in Germany.

“There’s a lot of stigma attached to that, measuring up and blah, blah, blah,” he said. “You just feel that dismissal when you’re at a dinner party and it’s, ‘I’m a pilot, I’m a doctor, what do you do?’ ‘I stay at home with the kids.’”

Another challenge, according to Jeff, is the sameness of the duties of running a household. That sounds very familiar to many stay-at-home parents, including me.

“While I enjoy order and a general routine, my biggest challenge is monotony, aka. ground-hog day syndrome,” he said. “Each day of the week corresponds to another chore. Wednesday is time to change the bedding – again - Thursday is grocery day – again – etc."

Jeff said breaking the routine gives him a fresh perspective: “Hiking, even if it's just around the block; maybe a father and son/daughter trip to the bakery, coffee shop; a special zoo, aquarium … excursion.”

Finding a support network and connecting with other dads was another challenge for some of the men.

Thomas Litchford credits the Internet with keeping him connected to friends and other men in his situation. Thomas lives in Rhode Island, but stays in touch with fellow stay-at-home dad and blogger, John Avelis in Virginia. Both are Navy husbands, friends from a past assignment, and each maintains his own blog about life and fatherhood.

“For people about my age and younger, it’s true that the Internet has given them a more long term connection with people whom they might not have stayed in contact with otherwise,” said John, who’s in his mid thirties.

Both men’s blogs were mentioned alongside a story about stay at home military dads in the July edition of Reader’s Digest.

Tom writes thomaslitchford.com and John writes Coffee and Diapers. Both men's blogs are about a well-rounded life, not just a baby brag book, although both are proud of their young sons. Navy dads have the current corner the market for blogs, as Tom and John are joined by Navy spouse Mitja Ng-Baumhackl, who writes Navalgazing.

Jeff agrees the internet is helpful. “I have managed to find a couple other stay at home dads through networking, … and other resources," he said "There are tools available to make life easier, arguably more now than just a couple years ago.”

Armin Brott, author of several books on fatherhood, including one for military dads, said connection is important for stay-at-home dads.

“I think it’s critical,” he said. “It’s a challenge to get guys to do that because of the old stereotype of not asking for directions. You don’t want to ask for help  … I think they find it less hard to find support than to actually access the support and take advantage of the support.”