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Spouse CallsJoin the conversation with Stripes columnist Terri Barnes, as she explores issues relevant to the lives of military spouses. |
PTSD: Spouses shouldn't go it alone
Posted October 28th, 2007 by Terri Barnes in
This week's Spouse Calls column (Click here to read) is from a woman whose husband is suffering from PTSD.
In these situations, it is important for the veteran to get treatment. It is also important for the spouse to have support and counseling.
If you are in this situation, please do not hesitate to reach out and look for the support you need:
- Military and Family Life Consultants: These consultations are free and anonymous, and no records are kept. Services can include group or individual, on or off-site. Contact your family support center or clinic to find out if it is available in your area. You don't have to give your name to get information. Click here for more information on MFLC. The bottom of that page has international contact information.
- Ask a chaplain or your pastor about counseling or other possibilities. You may be the person to start a support group, or there might be one already available.
- Counseling from a military or civilian provider through Tri-Care. Spouses as well as active duty members can receive treatment.
- Military One Source is another place to find in person counseling. This service is also free. Click here to go to their Web site. See the blue box on the right for links to information and international phone numbers.
- Blogs can also be helpful, but should not be your only source of support! There are many blogs out there for spouses of PTSD sufferers. Choose one that is helpful and uplifting. See the PTSD thread on the Spouse Calls Blog, where you'll find links to other sites, including The Aftermath of War.
Dear M. I am so sorry to
Dear M.
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. My husband has PTSD we have been married 18 years and he just shut me out of his life, i am so thankful i am not going through what you are going through. Please get help for yourself it does get harder. My husband isn't violent just VERY cold towards me and wonderful to everyone else. i used to think he was punishing me for something I didn't do but he's isn't, he really can't help it. good luck to you and your husband, i hope things get better for you. I know I have finally come to the point where if i am going to be miserable it will be on my own terms not someone elses. I do pray A LOT for my husband and for myself and i know with the Lord all things are possible.
take care
Shannon Williams
Husband has PTSD
I to am having some difficulty with my husband. I am 8 months preg with our 3rd baby and just a couple of days ago he says he is tired of being married. He says he loves me with all his heart but he is putting up a wall between us. If I tell him I love him he says it back, and will hug me and kiss me but I can feel the wall. Its like he has to try to be distance from me. He says he is not happy but doesnt know what will make him happy. PLEASE HELP. It hurts so bad to be pushed away especially right now. Do I leave, do I stay, do I ignore him, or act like I want to and love him like I always have. I am not the one that is unhappy and it was a total shock that he said he felt trapped and didnt want to be married. Any ideas thanks for your time.
Finding help
Dear H.
I'm so sorry for your difficult situation. One very important thing you need is someone to talk to. Do you know a minister or a counselor to whom you can turn? You do have important decisions to make regarding the future and well-being of your family.
You are not alone in your circumstances. Many military spouses are sharing in the pain of PTSD. However, each situation is individual, and there is no one right answer to the question: "What should I do?" Talking through your difficulties can help you find the decision that is best for you. Practical considerations aside, it will help your emotional and spiritual health to have a sounding board for your own feelings and frustrations.
It is often difficult for spouses of veterans with PTSD to find counseling for themselves. The military is trying to remedy this, and you can get information about counseling from your medical treatment facility or family support center. In addition, confidential counseling is available from your chaplain. Also the family support centers of some bases have programs for family counseling that does not become part of your military medical record.
I am in the process of researching the resources available to military spouses for this type of counseling, and I will put whatever I find here and in the Spouse Calls column.
Another good thing to do is to get in touch with other spouses in similar situations. Blogs are a good place to do that, both here and other blogs related to PTSD. Please stay connected and keep posting your thoughts here.
Sincerely,
Terri