When I told my husband my plans for Spouse Calls the week of Sept. 11, he did something he has never done before: He tried to change my mind about what to write.

"Don't write about my deployments," he said without looking up from the socks and t-shirts he was rolling to fit into his suitcase. "There are so many people who are gone for so much longer. This is nothing ..." He went on and I let him, partially because he's right and partially because I was already typing away at the column while he was packing.

Actually, I started writing it six years ago, adding on as Septembers and deployments have come and gone. In every September departure, though, I arrive at the same conclusion. 

I didn't write it to whine about his absence or to brag about his service --although I have been known to do both.

Many of you have had the same experiences, and then some. We could all whine and brag together. We are in this together, and that is why I wrote it.

This column is about absence and uncertainty. In long deployments and in shorter ones, uncertainty still darkens the door. This is how we live through it at our house. How do you deal with it at your address? (Click here to read the column.)